He left me when i needed him the most.

So,
this is my first blog.
I'm gonna use a fake name.
So on here, you shall know me as Sashy,
I have a few friends called Sasha, and i've always liked the name.
so thats where that came from.

right now,
everything in my life has turned to shit.
but let me start from the start.
(note: everything on here is the truth, the honest truth
and nothing but the truth, except my name.)

So,
I'm a normal girl,
was born and raised in a small city called New Plymouth,
been there basically my whole life.
Until about nearly a month ago now.

My best friend came to New Plymouth for his Dad's birthday,
to visit family and friends, and all that crap.
He surprised everyone by bringing along his boyfriend.
Now, I'm gonna try not to use names too much here,
so I'll just use initials.

Best Friend - K , Best Friends Boyfriend - L

So, I was super happy that both of them were here,
coz I'd been wanting to meet L since they got together.

So everything was alright, and we had a blast that weekend.

When K & L went back to where they live, (Hamilton)
K told me some news on Skype.
He said that the place he was living was for sale,
so he couldn't stay there too much longer,
and if he didn't find another place,
that he would have to move back to New Plymouth,
and break up with L.

Now, I didn't want that to happen,
coz I love L,
so, I made the very generous offer of moving up there,
so we could find a place and flat together so he wouldn't have to break up with L.
So, we started looking at houses on TradeMe that night,
and a week later,
I was living in Hamilton.

This also contributes so I'm gonna add this in.
The first full day I lived in Hamilton,
I went to the Waikato Uni open day with K, L and some other awesome people.
But one stuck out. His name was Logan.
Now, L, had previously been going on about how awesome Logan was
and how we would apparently be perfect together.
So, understandably, I was kind of looking forward to meeting him.
And when I did meet him that day, it was amazing,
he was amazing.
And as I got to know him more and more over time,
I realised just how much we had in common,
and then one night, I relised he was close with some other girl.
like really close, like had been on dates and were only not going out
because of the age difference close.

So I just asked him straight up on night if he liked me like that,
coz I'd been told that he had.
and he didn't,
and I was heartbroken.

And to make matters a whole lot worse is that K left that night.
His parents came and packed up his stuff and he left.
right at the time when I needed him the most.
The only time I've felt like I ever needed him in the 3
or so years that we've been best friends.

And it gets worse,
me, the lovely woman i lived with and her two kids went to Auckland for the day,
and had an amazing day,
adn when we got home, ALL of K's stuff was gone.
All of it.


So understandably I had no idea what was going on,
but It looked like my best friend had ditched me in Hamilton.
Which sucked.

So long story short, a few days later,
my parents came and got me,
and brought me back to New Plymouth where I've been nearly a week now.

And i hate it.
So much.
I love Hamilton so much better.

And now, I got promised by L that he would find me
someone to go to the ball with up there,
but then every possible person has now said they can't take me.
And I'd brought my dress and everything :'(

I've kinda been on a bit of a downbuzz ever since I left Hamilton.
I hate New Plymouth...

If you havent noticed,
THIS BLOG IS JUST ME WHINGING ABOUT LIFE!
don't like winging, don't read it!

I also feel this is important to mention,
I was highly depressed when I was about 15,
and started cutting,
I don't anymore,
and I only did it a couple of times,
but i have scars,
thats why i wear so many bracelets,
and noone knows why until now.
I'm starting to feel like that again.
and it certainly doesn't help that I've been single for nearly a year and a half.

But I am making some positive decisions in my life.
I for one have decided to try and help as many people as I can, whether it be in real life,
or throught the internet.
I have decided that I'm gonna wait for my Mr. Right,
I know who he'll be when he comes my way.
Also, I'm starting to look at life more positively,
I am a Christian, and I'm starting to think God
brought me back to New Plymouth for a reason.
I mean Friday just gone, I went to an amazing youth conference in my hometown called Fusion.
It was my 3rd year and I loved it,
just hearing about how amazing and what amzing things God has done for so many people,
it reminds me how much I love God, and why Ibecame a Christian in the first place.
Also, went to Rockquest, was pretty alright,
except the judge has shit taste, and shit timing,
he went to the bathroom right in the middle of my mates bands song.
grrrrrrr, they were rather pissed off.
and so was I, I was actually in shock when the guy didn't call their name,
I was like "wait, they missed Adversary..."

so yeah, now, I think I'm just ranting, I'll post when theres more interesting stuff to post,

I feel like Nachos.

The Really Really good nachos from the botany downs foodcourt in Auckland,
but I can't remember the name of the shop!
gah!
but they were good,
and i want them now,
or just doritos with sour cream would be good, (: